As I have said before someting happens to you on this pilgrimage. Others who have done the pilgrimage report the same. So what is happening to me; if I have a bad thought about anyone I immediately feel really guilty. This is proving to be a bit of a handicap.
Yesterday as I arrived in Santo Domingo, I went to the Albergue/ hostel to get my pilgrim passport stamped. The lady at the reception was very nice and stamped my passport. She then asked if I needed a place to stay, I replied no thankyou, I have a room booked at the Parador de Santo Domingo. She then queried why I should choose to stay there and not at the albergue. I was quite taken aback and told her in a stern voice because I choose to do so hinting that it was none of her business anyway. Then the guilt hit me! I was mortified by my reaction and wanted to crawl out of the place. I then tried to save face by saying what is important is to stay in Santo Domingo. In a way this ensures that the village remains an important pilgrim stop. She then replied, yes this is true but enjoy the Parador, it is a beautiful hotel. I sheepishy thanked her and left.
Lesson to me: Being nice/ kind to every one is difficult. Going to take a lot of training. What is happening is that every single moment of "unkind behaviour" is being pointed out to me. And just like seeing warts close up. this is not a pretty picture!
After checking in to my hotel, I went to the local museum. The ladies in charge were busy with some pilgrims so I began wandering around admiring the exhibits. The ladies in charge flipped out and started jesticulating wildly that I wait in the foyer until they were finished with the other pilgrims. I said OK and continued walking slowly around the exhibits....more wild jesticulations followed so I went up to the ladies to avoid that they start flying due to wild arm movements. One of the ladies then began explaining that the museum had an entrance fee of 8€ or 3€ for pilgrims. I immediately gave her 3€. She then asked where I was staying, I told her....The second lady was not happy, she asked are you sure you are a pilgrim. I was insensed. I put my hand on my hips and warned her not to insult me. Then came a second guilt trip. This time I could see I was not alone, both ladies were also feeling guilty. Apparently pilgrims should only stay at Pilgrim hostals and not comfy hotels.
Lesson to me: Just because I'm having a be kind to everyone moment, does not mean every one will be kind back. Kindness will be challenged by unkindness. True kindness should never waiver!.I still have a long way to go!
Today is April 20th and I am pleased to report that I have have less intensive pangs of guilt. Either I am being kind to everyone I meet or I am getting used to feeling guilty. Somehow, I truly believe the former is true. Even when I am met with unkindness, somehow I am able to let it run over like water off a duck's back.
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More about the Camino and its magic. Each day starts more or less the same. I get up pack up all my paraphenalia into my paniers. One goes with me (the lighter) one goes on the bike. The other gets transported by a transfer service. I then have a MONSTER breakfast. This consists of a bowl of hot chocolate and half a baguette lovingly caressed with butter. I then check out the hotel buffet for anything that might sustain me for the next 8 hours of biking. I usually pack a tortilla sandwich, a yoghurt and a piece of fruit. Next I fill up my water bottles. I always have 500ml in my Sig flask and 500ml in the panier. I check out and begin pedalling.
My upperthighs are now in good shape and usually rise up to the challenge admirably, within 30 minutes, I am on a roll. Then my mind starts conversing wth the Camino about all sorts of situations; past present and future. I give thanks for all the good things that have happened to us all, that I am able to take time to do the Camino, for protection and safe passage. I recall situations that I have experienced and begin to wonder what the outcome would have been if this or if that. I begin to think about the future, how should I handle a particular situation. I go back to the present and remember prayers friends and family have asked me to say on their behalf. I ask God to please help this person or that person. At ths point it is as if I am floating in an empty space. I may pass a fellow pilgrim and warm pleasantries are exchanged. Where did you start from? where are you heading today? Where are you from? The answer to the second question is always I do not know from the foot pilgrims. "I continue until my feet tell me to stop". I interject with my conversations are always with my upper thighs. Then we both carry on on our merry way, saying good bye with
Buen Camino. I slip back quickly into a trance like state and continue my conversation with God and the Camino. I only realised this was happening to me yesterday when I got a call on my mobile around mid-day, the first time I got a call during the day since I started. An issue had arisen with our house building project.....and I would be needed to solve it. I was required to call a supplier to organise delivery of materials to the building site as the workers were waiting to get started.
The midday call and conversation which followerd were traumatic. It was as if I had been shaken violently to wake up. I felt unusually disorientated. I stood for a moment to get a grip then I called the supplier. All was well, he would organise part deliver so that the work could continue. He wished me well on my journey. I continued standing trying to understand why I was destabilised by such a trivial situation.
Lesson to me: Getting back to the real world will not be easy.
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